Round 4 Chemo

"As I type this update, I am enjoying a cup of applesauce. I am home now and settling in from having round four of chemo and the last of the "red devil" treatments. This is a huge landmark for me. With having gotten very ill after round 3, I was not so sure I wanted to go to round 4. Nick met me at the Oncology Lab just prior to them starting the infusion. I was watching the clock and sitting there seeing the "red devil" hanging outside the room where they mix the drugs. I kept thinking, you can do this Brenda, this is the last one of this kind.

I know that there are alot of people praying. The strength was there to push through one more and now I am praying that I will not become ill again from this treatment. My blood count was good, temp was good, but my white count was up which could be just part of having had the last infection. The Dr. said we need to move forward and keep pluggin along. I amazed myself that I shook my head in agreement.

Nick took this picture of Apple Annie (better known as Apple Ugly) and I at chemo. She is a family joke/tradition that was started this past Thanksgiving and my niece Rachel sent her to me just in time to come along for the "red devil" ride! She gets past from family to family every year and that family can take her anywhere they want. I knew she was gonna enjoy the oncology ward sporting her new red sweater!

For now, I am taking it hour by hour with this treatment. Keep on prayin and I will keep on fighting - with Apple Annie by my side. :-)" ~Brenda

What Cancer Can't Do

It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot invade the soul.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the spirit.
It cannot lessen the power of God.

Relay for Life coming soon

To: Sarah Kelly
Date: Tue, Mar 23, 2010 at 12:27 AM
Subject: Relay for Life coming soon

"Hi Ladies

I am putting together a team of women to participate in the Relay for Life at the end of April. It's a benefit for the American Cancer Society, and from what I've heard, it's an amazing experience to be a part of. As women, I am sure we all know someone that has it, or has had it at one point in their lives. We have a boot camp girl in the 6am class whose mom was just recently diagnosed, so we will be thinking of her as we walk. If you have women in your life that are also fighting this battle, I would love to know about her so we as a group can offer support, prayers, etc.
I received an email from the coordinators and they need the names of the participants that are on my team (McKinney Boot Camps) along with what your shirt size would be, by Thursday.
If you want more info - you can google relay for life mckinney and it will pop up.
If you then decide you want to be on the team - please reply to this with your name and shirt size. So far here's the group:

Melody
Toni
Kike
Dee
Sarah
Jacque

Our limit is 15 for the group.
Please let me know if you have any add'l questions.
Thanks so much!
Melody Chandler"

Cancer can't erase DNA.... or sisters being sisters!!

Just a note to Brenda

I am Katelynn's mom who is Amanda's friend and meet you a couple of times. Just wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers and I hope you stay strong and fight this cancer. I know you have a wonderful sister and a great support system with your family, children and friends. Just wanted you to know we are thinking of you and pray for a quick recovery,

The Taylor Family,
Katelynn, Dennis, Dale

How you handle waiting in the ER while feeling nauseated

"It has now been three days and I am still shaking my head as to what the chemo has attacked this time. My sinus cavities! What I thought was just a runny nose, landed me in the ER. Enduring yet another IV and some fluids, antibiotics and drugs for pain. We did not expect this one as I thought I was doing ok after my treatment on Thursday. My sister came to help and spent 3 days. She cooked up some meals to go in the freezer and we did some crafting, but by Monday night I knew I was in trouble. Any temperature over 100.5 I have to call the unit. I could no longer hold any food down and we dressed and went on in.

I don't do well with pain and the sinus' are inflammed to say the least. I am now managing jello, applesauce and gingerale. As long as the meds stay down and the temp I will make it through this. Prayer, it's a good thing, need lots of it right now." Brenda

ER visit

Last night Nick took Brenda to the ER after her fever went up over 100.5. While under going chemo, patients should have to watch for any fever that hits 100.5 or higher. It is a danger zone. After many long hours in ER and being treated for infection, Brenda was released this morning just after 4 am! Please her in your prayers as you all have. Thank you for your love and support.

Third Round of Chemo Today

It is almost better to have my treatment early in the day. The oncology ward was quiet when I arrived there today at 9. They were down one nurse, but by 11, they were slammed. Amazing to see all the patients and their partners or friends there with them. It filled up pretty fast.

My vein held up pretty good this time and they were able to stay with the same one. As soon as the "red devil" was in, the nausea began to set in. The chicken strips that Nick picked me up from Zaxby's didn't look quite as appetizing as when I had ordered them this morning before he left for work. I ate them anyway just for protein sake.

When I saw Dr. Murphy today, he asked how I was doing and asked about any unusual changes, aches, pains. I explained the infection I had gotten and was on meds for and my severe shoulder pain and the fact that my eye sockets are dry all the time now to the point of altering my vision. He assured me that was all part of the chemo. When he came back in, to do the exam, I said oh, I forgot, one thing, the fact that I am now totally bald, he laughed, and said yep, that is all part of it too! I forgot that last time I was there, I had a full head of hair.

I have to say I am a bit nervous as to what this chemo treatment is going to hit in my body. Time will tell. My hair's gone, I am thinkin, what's left that it can bombard - that's scary for me. For today, I will keep pluggin on, wait and tackle whatever that may be. Might just need to put on some boxin gloves for this round.
P.S. The tumor has begun to shrink! That's a good thing - the "red devil" is doing what it's suppose to do! `Brenda

Going (almost) bald for Granny

This handsome little man needed a haircut as he was looking like an exploded q-tip when I got back from visiting with my mom. I usually give him a a short frat-boy haircut in the comfort of my kitchen but today when I said "Tyler-J, you wanna be bald like Granny"? He didn't hesitate to shrill with joy "Looka' like Granny"!! Now, for the sake of him having the attention span of a gnats behind (as appropriate for a 2.5 year old) and not wanting to cause blunt force trauma to his head with a pair sheers, Ty has gone "almost" bald for Granny.

I am thinkin' he's lookin' pretty honkin' G.I.Ty!

-Sarah

Hillside Sun

The sun is shining today here in Franklin and it is in the 70's. I began my day with doing some filing and paperwork and turned on the weather station, heard what the temp was outside and decided to take a blanket, go out to the hill near the apartment. I took a book, a sandwich, my phone, my ipod and yes my turban and planted myself on the side of the hill.

I have had a very keen sense of smell since getting chemo. I laid there with my eyes closed and breeze blowing, took my turban off and just smelled the air. I was reminded of the smell of tiny strawberry plants growing wildly in the field when I was growing up.

Sun always makes me feel better. I love that the Lord gave me a good day today and the energy to enjoy it. It will rain tomorrow, but that's ok, today was grand!

-Brenda

Unlike no other....

When you watch this video think as though Brenda is singing this song to her hair! ; )

What's cancer without a little sense of humor!!

Divine timing

My mom went for her second round of Chemotherapy on Thursday, February 25th. Up until that point she had not really lost a lot of hair, basically just some larger clumps, but if you know my mom and her hair, you'd know it would take about 100 fist fulls of hair to even create a small indentation. She has been blessed with lioness locks for sure. I arrived in Nashville on Saturday the 27th to find both of my parents looking very happy. Though my mom looked tired, she was still as beautiful as ever. She had "all" of her hair, or so it seemed, though she did experience some big chunking in the shower that morning. Sunday morning came and her head was very tender, though that is probably understating it. The hair follicles were VERY sore and it was causing her great discomfort. She managed to make it to church and used a pretty head wrap to help control the strays that were falling out uncontrollably. By the afternoon she was in tears from the pain and wasn't aware that her follicles would be so tender. I told her to come sit by me and I would run my fingers through her hair to help sooth the pain. Surprisingly it was helping a lot. So she put her head in my lap and just let me play with it for a couple hours. The act of running my fingers through it allowed the roots to release themselves and within a three hour period, she had lost about 95% of her hair....all the while her bangs holding out for dear life!!

Seeing my mom on Saturday wasn't much different than any other time I would see her after a long period of time. She always looks happy to see me and she looked "normal". It wasn't until last night when she put her head in my lap, watching her hair come out in my hands that it hit me... "my mom has cancer"... the more I saw her bald head come through, the more it sank in, "she's really sick". I wasn't suppose to come to Nashville till the the week of March 11th. My dad said it was Divine timing that I was here to do this for my mom because it left him feeling nauseated and sad. It was hard to watch him tear up as each stroke of her hair made the pile next to me bigger and bigger. I am not really sure how I even got through it, but as I tucked her into bed last night and I touched her head to say goodnight, I too knew in that moment, it was truly Divine timing and an honor to be able to help my mom let go of her hair.

She is beautiful bald, okay, well almost bald!! She is currently napping and I am waiting for her to wake up so that we can go ahead and shave the rest of it off. Her bangs are very tender and when I spoke with the oncologist nurse today, she said getting rid of the weight will probably help. I am glad this part is almost done for her. Losing your hair (for a woman at least) is like losing apart of what defines you. Losing her femininity. I hope when she sees her reflection, she will be able to see her pretty "small and bald" as a sign that she is fighting....

`Sarah Langdon-Kelly