Reality Check Again

I knew something was happening when I found I could not easily scratch my head when I got up without pain and the chore of combing through my thick hair was quite uncomfortable. I thought it to be similar to having had my hair in a pony tail holder for days and then taking it down or having had surgery and NOT being able to wash my hair (which was not the case) but the folicles felt like that.

We were preparing to go pick up Sarah from the airport so I hopped in the shower. Before I realized, I was holding clumps of hair in my hand with each wash of the shampoo. I called Nick into the bathroom and announced -we have a problem Houston! Then came the drying and by the time it was all said and done, I had a pile of hair the size of a grapefruit.

If I had a dollar for ever hairdresser that said I had thick hair I would be rich. We laugh at that, but in the shower, I was thinking, this "thick hair" isn't gonna be thick much longer at this rate.

The folicles are very tender and I think the weight of the hair that remains makes them sore. Sarah and I may be having that head shavin party this week after all. `BRENDA

Even if you are not near, You are here.

When my dear friends John and Karole Aspinwall offered to donate a pin for my sister's B3 fight, I wanted to come up with a design that had some meaning to it for both her and I. When I used to go visit her in Blairsville and would stay in her spare room there were these darn lady bugs that always would show up by the hundreds on the window sill by my bed. I would call her and say "did you clean the lady bugs off my bed yet". We would laugh about it every time I would visit. Well low and behold 1 week after she moved to Tennessee (much to my dismay) I was brushing my teeth at my sink in my bathroom and there on the counter I found a lady bug. I couldn't believe my eyes. I don't usually find lady bugs in my house but knew immediately who had sent it to me.

On the other hand Bren loves bears. We used to laugh and have fun shopping because she loves Teddy Bears and collected them. She used to say "I think he is talking to me and I might have to buy him". So to honor her, I decided I would join the two and make her pin be a bear wearing the lady bug costume in pink and of course she has to have her pearls on.

PINS WILL BE FOR SALE SOON

Posted by: Barbara Pieper

B3 Fight Bracelet's....For Sale soon!!

2nd Round of Chemo Today

I was up early in anticipation of the chemo treatment today. I go at 11 and although I know what to expect, I am still anxious because it is the "after" that I "anticipate". Yesterday was one of my best days of the two weeks. I felt like I was able to do more, got a little work done around the house. It would have been a good day to be on a temp job if they had called me, but the Lord knew I needed to get some stuff done at home. Low and behold, 5 minutes ago the temp agency called me for a receptionist job (last minute) for today. The Lord knows the need there too and I had to say no.

Nick is working today and I am driving myself. He is gonna come up during his lunch hour and visit (it takes 3 hours to administer it). I only have to be driven if I have a bad reaction or am too tired. Hoping for a good session. We went and got a wedge pillow for my sleeping from Bed Bath and Beyond. The first 4 days are the worst after the chemo and I am in terrible pain. Then it rolls back around in a different form where it hits the spinal column like having a migraine headache in the spine all the way down. As long as I am moving I am fine, till I stop. So we are hoping the pillow will help my sleep pattern.

Dinner is in crock pot and the apartment is clean - onward, forward, beam me up scotty! ~Brenda

My Twin...My Best Friend.

I have quite often been asked “what is it like to be a twin”? When I start to answer the question a smile comes across my face and I get a glow about me that is beyond words. But it wasn’t until just recently that this question really hit close to my heart even more than ever before. Every day we wake up and think, wow I don’t want to go to get out of bed, I don’t want to go to work, I don’t , I don’t, I don’t. Now every day I wake up and every day I go to sleep with those words in my head of I don’t and they are not the mundane things we complain about each day. They are the words of a magnitude I never thought possible, “I don’t want to lose my twin sister”.

When we were young we played together, dressed alike because Mom always made our clothes. As grade school ended and High School began we drifted apart in a different way, each going about learning what it was like to be twins but have our own personalities. In our 20’s and 30’s we were there for each other as college, marriage and children all became a part of our lives. But it wasn’t until our 40’s when we realized that the bond between us was once again becoming the way it was when we were very young. Loving the time we spent with each other, laughing, sharing stories, and making fun of each other. It has become a time when “time spent together” means the world to us and all else doesn’t matter.

This fight she is going through is just not fair; her world has had more than its share of tragedy that no human should ever have to endure. But for some reason this is happening and she will get through it and be to me a super human person who has endured a world of heartbreak and has lived to tell about it. And when she is in remission and someone asks me “what is it like to be a twin”? I won’t only have a smile on my face and a glow about me, I will have my best friend standing by my side and nothing else will really matter.

Posted by: Barbara Pieper

Wig Fitting! (click image to enlarge and view up close)

"We took the two Flat Stanley's with us that Emily and Rebecca made. I love Flat Stanley and the story behind it. When Emily was little I read that story to her and she said he was flattened by a boweton (bulletin) board!

Not sure if I will get used to having something on my head except my own hair. Wigs are a different thing but, it's nice havin, instant longer hair. Deborah at Chic Wigs was terrific throughout the whole process!" ~Brenda

"Got an e-mail from Nick, the insurance matter has been handled and corrected. Thank you Lord and Tim" Brenda

February 17 - Update

"Today was the day for my M.U.G.A. (pronounced MUGA) test. I was able to go to the appointment by myself and that was a good thing. I wasn't however happy when they announced that it required another IV and that made me weary.

They did however give me a snack, a drink and a warm blanket while I was waiting for them to get to the next step of the test.

Once the IV was in place, they draw a portion of blood. Mix it with radioactive stuff and then shoot it back into my IV/arm. Then under the MRI machine to take pictures of things lighting up in my heart to make sure that my heart can endure the Chemo treatments.

The technical terms were Cardiac blood pooling imaging, gated equilibrium, planar, single study at rest or stress with motion study plus injection!

She told me what MUGA meant and I couldn't repeat that to save my life. I only knew what they were technically going to do when the letter in the mailbox from the 'insurance experts' decided this test WASN'T 'Medically Necessary'.

I had an ok day with it till that letter, that was the real punch in the gut for me." ~Brenda

Brenda shares with Nick in her restlessness...

From: Brenda Langdon
Sent: Wednesday, February 17, 2010 4:38 AM
To: Nick Langdon
Subject: realization

Here it is 3 a.m. again and I have had my anti-nausea medicine and my helping of noodles with butter and salt along with a gingerale. It's gonna be a long morning if I don't manage to get back to sleep.

I was laying here on the couch with my "coverlet" and thinking about my Wovenhope website and it dawned on me that I never could go anywhere with my idea or thought or ministry because I too had to walk in the shoes of one having the Chemo to appreciate having a blanket that has become a souce of snuggle to me. Even though it's not a homemade one, I love the sense of wellbeing I get when I grab my white blankie and hunker down for the naps. Nanny gave it to me for another occassion, but putting it into prespective, I didn't realize the few that I have created for "Wovenhope" went into those peoples hands with a true service in mind.

Maybe now, this ministry will take fold (no pun intended) and more quilts will appear for the reason that I never imagined. I think in my mind if I made myself one for my battle, it would have to have camoflouge in it for sure.

That's all, going back to bed now. Bella

COMING SOON!! Just a sample of a few...

In efforts to raise money for Brenda's ongoing medical care, t-shirts, pins, pink B3 Fight camo bracelets and many other fun goodies will be available for purchase. All proceeds go directly to The B3 Fight Trust Fund!!

Laughter - It can make you cry.... and it can heal your soul!!

Posted for Brenda!
Remember how we all laughed until we cried. It was a great time together.
With Love,
Joanne

Brenda needs you fighters to pray she finds her thermometer! Where oh where did she leave it last!! : )

After Two Treatments.... (From Brenda)

Today is day 2 after treatment and it's not been such a good day. Started with a different kinda feelin. The nausea has been "at bay" all day. Nick cooked dinner tonight and I had to step outside the door to get fresh air. Feels kinda like the days of being pregnant in the first three months, when odors are NOT my friend! With each new kid, the present ones would say, Dad, why is mom under the table with her head between her legs!

We pulled out the candle from the bathroom and lit it in hopes of overcoming the cooking smells. I know now never to eat french onion soup or cook it in the next 5 months.

We ventured out to Walmart early in the day to get some essentials. That was my best for activities. While Nick was getting keys made for the apartment, I found a shelf in the battery isle to sit on and I knew I had hit my wall.

Nick is enjoying the Olympics and that is probably a good thing that he has that to occupy himself in between my sleeping and eating.

Nick's Take on Yesterday's First of Seven Chemo Treatments

"Bren seemed more at ease today knowing that 4 weeks of waiting for a cure has now begun. She finished her first 3 hour chemo session today without a hitch with just seven to go. Compassionate and caring nurses walked Brenda through each stage of the treatment; starting with anti-nausea meds, then moving through all three chemo treatments. All of this progressed very well and nothing out of the ordinary happened. Some of the highlights were the head nurse looked like Bev Zodli from a frontal view and Lois Kreher from the side. We felt like we were sitting in Dad and mom's living room during Eurchre Club night. As one of her nurses explained that the new nausea meds will probably prevent Bren from getting sick, I asked Bren and the nurse if I didn't have to keep the toilet bowl clean anymore since she wouldn't have to hug it during vomiting sessions. The nurse chuckled at me and stated I should've been doing that all along. Laughing as she walked back to her station, she must have told the other nurses what I said. They too, began to look at me and laugh. After 10 minutes passed, another nurse came out and handed Bren a prescription. Thinking that it was for the nausea, I thought nothing more of it until Bren handed it to me to get filled. This is what the prescription stated: "No Housekeeping for 6 months" and signed by Brenda's doctor. By that time all the nurses and Brenda were enjoying a good laugh as I looked up and realized the joke was on me. We had a good time with that for the remainder of the treatment. We talked about revising the script to include "No Cooking" as well. Following Bren's treatment we enjoyed soup and salad at Panara Bread then headed to the mall to purchase hats and scarves for when Bren looses her hair."

FROM BRENDA:
"The appointment came quickly today. I am not nervous with needles, never have been and the oncologist nurses are the best of the best! Once they got the line in I was good to go. They administered the "anti-nausea" drugs first - two bags and then I realized "the red devil" (as they call it) the first bag of chemo was set in place! REALITY CHECK! Then onto Chemo two and Chemo three. We were there about 3 hours this time. Tomorrow I go back for my buster shot and I am done till my MUGA test next Wednesday the 17th.
Anti-nausea drugs are my best friend right now."

(Apologies from your friendly blog administrator, she fell asleep on her dinner plate last night before she could update the daily events from yesterday!)

Chemo treatment begins tomorrow - 2/11/2009

Brenda's appointment today with the oncologist came with a plan of action that starts...TOMORROW! Brenda will undergo 5 months of chemo therapy, consisting of three different types of Chemo. Treatments will take place every two weeks for an hour and a half followed by an appointment the following day to receive injections to keep her blood count at safe levels. After 5 months the doctors are projecting a lumpectomy followed by radiation. There are many side affects to chemo as you all know. The doctors said she has 10 days left to enjoy her hair, and that includes her arms, legs etc... Nick and Brenda went straight from the oncologist to the wig store, and directly from Brenda's mouth, "No, Nick did not get his red head"! (I had no idea my dad liked red heads! The things you can learn, despite the circumstance, Ha!) They both seem to be in good spirits as the doctors are cramming them full of good information and what to expect the first half of 2010.

Emily keeps Granny close

Brenda's oldest granddaughter, Emily Kelly (10), felt it was important to keep her Granny close to her. Emily took her favorite picture off the wall and set it on the end table in her living room and hung her breast cancer awareness bracelet off the side of the frame and said, "See momma, now we will always remember to never stop fighting for Granny." Brenda is a 'Granny' and a 'Honey' to 10 grandchildren.

Her Footprints in the Sand

Week 1 - Treatments begin, Plan of action laid out.

This week will begin with several trips to the doctors. Monday, Brenda heads to Nashville to fill out paperwork for the Chemo study at the Breast Center. Wednesday will involve seeing the Oncologist in Franklin. This will be her first appointment and beginning of treatment. She does know what to expect with this appointment until Wednesday, and will have more information later in the week.

Brenda and Nick appreciate the support and well wishes that have flooded the site. Brenda says "It's been a blessing to read all the great notes. Both Nick and I appreciate all of the words and prayers. Thank you B3 Fighters"

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